It’s during a crisis, that you see the true color of someone’s heart.
When things are going good, just like in business, it’s easy to do all the right things and be a “friend” to everyone; during difficult times, the true color of our heart shows through and you may either build the foundations of a true friendship or destroy a long nurtured relationship.
Most of us have a vindictive, difficult side –which sometimes has a hard time accepting the good of others. Partly it’s our competitive side – partly it’s jealousy or our selfish nature. Similarly, during difficulty (of others), it’s easier to run away and hide, than to take a stance and fight for just cause.
A few years ago, I started in a new role and had no choice, but to change-out most of my team. Some folks, feeling threatened by these changes, started a smear campaign against the “new” team members – describing the impending disaster arising from the recent changes. Having been targeted in the past by similar attacks, I can assure you that these are not fun times! The only thing you can do is really not respond to these attacks. The more you respond, the more you embolden the attacker to promote further attacks.
In my personal life, I have faced many crises, when I needed a helping hand or needed someone to show me the way. Many “friends” I knew, ran away from these situations. The true friends, who stood by me (or my family) remain friends forever.
Over time, you realize that, the weak, typically don’t have the courage to accept new realities which may/not impact their own interest.
The only thing one can do, in such instances, is to make sure that the truth remains firmly grounded and that we don’t stoop down to that level of “dirt” that’s being disbursed.
When we hear rumor or untruthful innuendo, our typical reaction is to respond by hitting back hard – or to attack the “dirt thrower” with a smear campaign of our own.
Mahatma Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye would make the world blind.”
Over experiences, one learns that mudslinging leads nowhere, and at the end, invariably, everyone gets hurt. The most significant damage is inflicted on human relationships – some of which may have been nurtured over years.
From a very early age, my parents taught to keep my nose clean, hold my head high and let the truth stand firm. In most instances, the bright light of truth overcomes the weak darkness spread from the dungeons of our souls.
During a recent personal crisis, folks (I thought) I have known over a decade, chose to spread baseless rumors, innuendo about me or the people I love. A very close “relative” who held my daughter after her birth, accused this teenager of something so bizarre that it brought tears to my eyes.
The first time I heard the story, my immediate reaction was to call on them and give them a piece of my mind; a good friend made me realize that’s exactly what these people want. They want to see some negative reaction from me – or want me to implode.
The best “revenge” I guess, is to completely avoid these insinuations and live life to it’s fullest.
When you realize that you have nothing to apologize for, you free yourself of the burden of blames!
At the end of the day, when we leave this planet, the only valuable legacy we leave behind, is the richness of the relationships we have nurtured over life; rarely do people talk about your net worth, or how beautiful you look – all of which fade over time.
What’s important, is how you have treated others, and how much and how many, you may have loved.
My everyday prayer: God give me the courage, in both good and bad times, to stay focused on what’s important. Even if the darkest shadow of someone else’s heart casts a shadow on my life, I choose to end every day knowing what I have done is right, fair (to others) and beautiful!